DB News, Gossip, & Pop Culture

October 29, 2009

I’m Not Impressed

Filed under: Technology — Tags: , , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 1:11 PM

The Motorola Droid phone is coming out pretty soon and it looks like my anus. People are concerned because Apple’s stock is dropping, fearing that the Droid would give the iPhone a run for it’s money. Maybe people are forgetting that Apple reported insane profit gains this past quarter, jumped 20 dollars in a day, and perhaps people are just cashing out. Stop panicking. When I saw this phone I wondered why it looked so familiar, and I remembered that I took a shit recently and saw a piece of shit that looked like this phone in the toilet as I was going to flush. All I have to say is if you’re going to try to beat a Ferrari F50 don’t bring your Ford Pinto.

Here’s a smart ass penis commercial they put out making fun of the iPhone.

I will dispense in an angry tirade why this commercial is semen.

1. Who the fuck cares if there’s not a real keyboard? This isn’t 1840, get over it, you crybaby.

2. Running simultaneous applications is really important right? I mean, how else are you going to know if it’s raining in Kentucky if you can’t take a picture of your dick at the same time? Oh shit, time paradox.

3. Wow, you have a 5 megapixel camera? 90% of people who use cameras have no idea what the relationship between megapixel and picture quality even is. Get a real camera, you cheap shit.

4. Customizing? I guess that’s important when you’re trying to be unique and every other dick head thinks they’re being unique… by buying the same phone as you.

5. What the statutory rape is a widget?

6. Saying “I don’t allow open development” is like saying “I don’t allow security instability.” Wait, is that a bad thing?

7. You need to take pictures in the dark? Why, trying to be a fucking pervert and take pictures of your parents fucking at night?

8. Seriously? No interchangeable batteries? When Apple just swaps you out a phone if your battery is shit? For free?

iDon’t think your phone isn’t a piece of shit, Motorola.

[Source Yahoo!]

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