DB News, Gossip, & Pop Culture

January 2, 2012

Hello, 2012!

I’m back, bitches. Happy New Year, everyone! I hope all my beautiful readers had a good year during 2011 and I hope all of you have an even better year in 2012.

So after nearly a decade of breaking hearts, the San Francisco 49ers are FINALLY back in the playoffs! I’ve been a loyal fan forever and all that hard work, disappointment, and team rebuilding has finally payed off. Although I still have my doubts about Alex Smith, I think they have a really good chance of making it to the NFC Championship Game, but let’s not kid ourselves: Aaron Rodgers is a monster. Considering their back-up Matt Flynn can throw 480 yards and 6 touchdowns in relief, I have a gut feeling Rodgers is going to shit all over San Francisco in his sleep. To make all my fellow San Francisco fans feel better, above is the 2009 San Francisco Gold Rush Cheer Squad.

I’ll try to update my blog more this year, but I’m not making any promises because let’s be honest: no one reads this shit.

[Source: San Francisco 49ers]

April 30, 2011

The Aikido Kid Is Back

Filed under: Sports — Tags: , , , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 11:27 PM

Everyone probably thought Steven Seagal was just a washed up overweight direct-to-DVD movie star. You’re half right. However, when he’s not sitting around being way too serious, he’s a part time MMA master. He works with the likes of Lyoto Machida and Anderson Silva. If anyone caught UFC 129 they saw Machida put Randy Couture into permanent retirement with an insane cane-style kick. You only see that shit in movies. That or when you watch someone trained by Steven Fucking Seagal fight. Good times. I think he’s making a come back, Machida even went out of his way to immediately thank Seagal after the fight. Looks like front kicks to the face are the new thing in MMA. Thank you, Steven Seagal, first you gave us Above the Law, now this.

[Source Yahoo!]

November 18, 2010

Call of Duty: Modern Idiots

Filed under: News, Sports — Tags: , , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 6:49 PM

Being upset that Kobe Bryant or anyone made this commercial is ABSOLUTELY ABSURD. It’s a VIDEO GAME, it’s ENTERTAINMENT. He’s a role model? Yes and PARENTS SHOULD BE ROLE MODELS TOO. Here’s a crazy idea, don’t let your kids play fucking violent ass video games and then BLAME KOBE. Talk to them about violence, talk to them about war, don’t let Kobe inspire your kids to work hard like he does and then GET ANGRY when he does a COMICAL commercial about a VIDEO GAME. People are upset and offended? People should be upset and offended CHINA is going to RUN OUR COUNTRY in 20 years, THAT KIDS ARE STARVING, THAT AMERICA IS NOT IN THE TOP 10 FOR EDUCATION, not because KOBE BRYANT starred in a commercial (who HASN’T) about a VIDEO GAME. Ridiculous. Read the article by clicking on the source link below. People are throwing a tantrum over THIS. Where are people throwing tantrums over genocide or China’s oppression of people who have an opinion? Shut the fuck up.

[Source: Yahoo! and YouTube]

October 21, 2010

Taken!

Filed under: Hot Chicks, Sports — Tags: , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 8:30 PM

Looks like Maria Sharapova decided to settle down and got engaged with Los Angeles Lakers‘ guard Sasha Vujacic. I have mixed feelings about this. Sharapova hasn’t played well in maybe 2 years now. In contrasts, Vujacic helped the Lakers win championships back-to-back. I’m worried she’s going to become complacent and stop playing professional tennis and just have like 4 kids. Maybe she could just start acting or become a model. I’d be all right with that. Or they could release a really awkward tall people sex tape. I’d watch it. Twice.

[Source ShowBizSpy]

July 25, 2010

Late World Cup Input

Filed under: Hot Chicks, Sports — Tags: , , — DBNewsWorld @ 7:45 PM

I love sports, mainly American sports, so that’s probably I don’t give a shit about soccer. I once equated soccer to being the Los Angeles Lakers of sports. You know, everyone loves it, but it really just features a star player that rapes people. Here’s looking at you, Kobe Bryant. Long story short, if the crowd is filled with women who look like Larissa Riquelme then I wouldn’t mind attending more soccer events. That’s assuming I can sit next to these women and they hit me repeatedly with their breasts. On my tongue. Sucks that Paraguay didn’t win, she was going to blow the entire team or something.

[Source WhatWouldTylerDurdenDo?]

June 3, 2010

Damn It, Sort Of

Filed under: Sports — Tags: , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 5:22 PM

I wish this was a picture of Jelena Jankovic being amazed at how big my penis is, unfortunately it’s her reacting to the several points she lost against Australia’s Samantha Stosur in their semi-final match at Roland Garros. Stosur won 6-1, 6-2. Not much of a match if you ask me. Guess Jelena was distracted thinking about my huge wiener. It’s all right, I still love her.

I think Stosur is pretty cute, but not going to lie, she probably won because of her manly ass arms. There are pictures where I think someone took a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s arms and cropped them onto Stosur. Whatever, I’d do her. Or maybe I’d do Arnold.

[Source Yahoo!]

May 30, 2010

Pure Admiration

Filed under: Hot Chicks, Sports — Tags: , , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 2:18 PM

Normally, people don’t associate beauty with athleticism in a physical sense. However, Allison Stokke makes me happy in every way possible. To be fair, I know nothing about her personality, so maybe she’s a gigantic bitch, but she has the body of a demi-goddess (think Brad Pitt in Troy), the face of an angel, and considering she’s pole vaulting for University of California, Berkeley, she’s probably as talented as they come. I just want her to man handle me. Looking at pictures of her makes me want to do two things: 1. Touch myself, 2. Lose 50 pounds so she doesn’t laugh at my small penis.

[Source TotalProSports]

May 26, 2010

Mullets, Mayonnaise, Man

Filed under: Comedy, Sports — Tags: , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 2:40 PM

Jared Allen is too bad ass, I hate it. I wish he played for the San Francisco 49ers because my home team is breaking my heart with their shitty performance this past decade. The shit he says is golden. Unfortunately, he had to cut his mullet because he’s getting married. The shit women do to ruin how awesome men can be, it blows my mind.

[Source Yahoo!]

Gross

Filed under: News, Sports — Tags: , , , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 12:05 PM

This is the picture Yahoo! Sports decide to run after declaring the victory of defending French Open champion Svetlana Kuznetsova over Andrea Petkovic. You know, there’s a stereotype that Russian women look like men sometimes. My dick is so soft right now.

[Source Yahoo!]

May 25, 2010

Age is Just a Number

Filed under: Sports — Tags: , , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 11:20 AM

At 39 years old, Kimiko Date Krumm, became the second-oldest woman of the Open Era to win a match at Roland Garros after beating ninth seed Dinara Safina in the first round. Quick tidbits about her life.

Born Sept. 28, 1970 in Kyoto (Japan)

Married to German race car driver Michael Krumm

She is naturally left-handed but plays right-handed to adhere to Japanese custom

Announces her retirement in 1996

Became the second oldest player in the Open era to win a Tour singles title when she won the 2009 title in Seoul.

Beat Russian Safina 3-6 6-4 7-5 in the first round of the French Open in her first Roland Garros appearance since she reached the fourth round in 1996″

Dude, fuck this, where’s Andre Agassi? I’m happy for her, I’m sure doesn’t need money, I think she was just bored and really loves tennis. After I finish all my schooling, I hope to take some tennis lessons and go pro. After seeing Krumm, it looks like time is on my side.

[Source Yahoo!]

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