DB News, Gossip, & Pop Culture

May 31, 2011

Come at Me, Bro!

Filed under: Comedy — Tags: , , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 10:38 PM

Last I checked it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you shouldn’t press the buttons of an angry gorilla. Or worse, a greased up Italian from The Jersey Shore. People are speculating that Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino acted like himself and pushed juice-head Ronnie Ortiz-Magro to the edge. The results were “The Situation” with a busted face, and Ronnie with a busted hand. Right now none of this can be confirmed, but let’s not kid ourselves. If you had to spend 3+ seasons with “The Situation” don’t you think you’d be tempted to cut off his dirty penis or make him suffocate in hair gel? You can’t blame Ronnie. Pretty fucking stupid of Mike to think he had a chance, we all saw Ronnie in season one shouting the famous, “COME AT ME, BRO!” Come at him he did.

[Source WhatWouldTylerDurdenDo?]

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December 31, 2010

Farewell, 2010

My devoted readers, as you know, 2010 is coming to a close. I don’t know about you, but this probably wasn’t the worst year of my life. At the very end of 2009 I found that I got into dental school so I pretty much had to make the most out of my life before slaving away for the next 4 years. I made a lot of new friends at my job and in dental school. I traveled to Tokyo, Hong Kong, and Bangkok. The Jersey Shore became MTV’s highest rated show ever. Katy Perry married that hairy clown. Apple launched the iPad. The iPhone 4 was leaked and then officially released. Michael Vick made a ridiculous comeback. Double Rainbow all the way across the sky and apparently everyone was told to hide their wives and hide their kids because they’re raping everybody out there. The economy is still shit, everyone who doesn’t like to look at the big picture hates Barack Obama, and there still isn’t a cure for cancer.

I hope nothing bad happened to any of my readers or all the good people in the world out there. For the bad people, get the fuck out. Die or go shoot yourself. I wish everyone the best luck, fortune, love, and happiness in 2011 and every year that follows. Thank you to everyone who ever wanders onto this page and chuckles even a little bit. Know that if you do just that, I’m that much less likely to blow my brains out.

November 30, 2010

Angelina Pav-WHAT?!

Filed under: Comedy — Tags: , — DBNewsWorld @ 4:27 PM

Do yourself a favor and listen to this amazing track by Jersey Shore’s Angelina Pavarnick. I didn’t know what category to put this post under. She definitely can’t be in the same class as “Hot Chicks” and I wouldn’t group her with “Celebrities”, so I figured if you didn’t laugh and think it was a “Comedy”, it’s definitely a worthy tragedy. If this doesn’t brighten your day, your life must be shit.

[Source IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay]

October 21, 2010

My Freaking Hero

Filed under: Celebrities, Comedy — Tags: , , — DBNewsWorld @ 2:29 PM

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is coming out with his book. FINALLY. I mean, this guy has a popular show, has his own workout videos, has a rap song, it was only a matter of time before he would finally write a book. Which I find a little difficult to believe because I thought he was illiterate. Just kidding, I love this guy, he’s seriously my hero if I didn’t have like real career aspirations. It sounds mean, but I say it because I love this ridiculous stereotype of a human being. I wanted to write a book similar to this, but it had nothing to do with physically working out or getting women. It was just about creeping, eating a lot, and masturbating. I figure someone out there needs insight on how to do that. Make sure you buy a copy when this comes out. This way he’s motivated to stay the way he is for years to come.

[Source: TheSuperficial]

April 13, 2010

Hold Up, Looks Like We Have a Situation

Filed under: Celebrities, Hot Chicks — Tags: , , , , — DBNewsWorld @ 11:22 AM

Ladies, if this isn’t a situation, then I don’t know what is. Say what you want about Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, this dude is ripped like a present on Christmas morning. Not only that, this guy is practically famous: He did a billion guest appearances on talk shows, he’s probably endorsing cannoli and pasta brands, and he gets to hang out with Bar Refaeli.

I bet you Barack Obama has never met Bar Refaeli, and the man has a Nobel Peace Prize. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I should fulfill some terrible stereotype about ethnic background, let the whole world watch me, laugh at me, and then I can make millions of dollars. But then again, who wants to watch someone working on a rice paddy, be good at math, offer to love someone long time, and then use guerrilla warfare to fend off U.S. troops? Lots of people, I’m sure.

[Source TheSuperficial]

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