So Selena Gomez turned 18 recently. This implies that she has earned a bunch of privileges. She can smoke, she can vote, oh, and she can consensually fuck the shit out of me if she wanted to do so. Expanding on that, if she chose to do so, she could also have sex with an 80 year old man and it would be all right. Now, if she were 17, and some 18 year old wanted to do her, that’s fucking illegal. What’s wrong with you, you sick fuck. Man, our society is AWESOME.
[Source WhatWouldTylerDurdenDo?]
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds were at Comic-Con to discuss and promote The Green Lantern. This movie is going to be fucking awesome. Ryan Reynolds has the body of Hercules and Blake Lively looks like the hottest chick you never went to high school with. That was a pretty bad joke. Just go watch the movie when it comes out.
[Source WhatWouldTylerDurdenDo?]
Looks like Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare rounded up the numbers and Japanese women have the longest life expectancy of 86.44 years. That’s pretty impressive. Japanese men came in 5th with 79.59 years. Unfortunately, Japan is seeing a huge decline in birth rates, implying that people are living forever and no one is replacing them. Not only will the elderly require more care, but there is no one to provide that care. Enter the robots. In 50 years, Japan may be an entire nation of robots. But if we’ve learned anything, they will be very attractive and sexually driven robots. Hong Kong men came in second with a life expectancy of 79.8 years. That’s good because I’m Chinese and Hong Kong will be completely given back to China in 50 years, just in time for my golden years.
[Source Yahoo!]
I saw Jessica Biel in Valentine’s Day and she played this character that had a terrible love life. In real life, she’s banging Justin Timberlake, you know, that guy from The Backstreet Boys. I think it’s absolutely absurd to think that she can’t get ass, she should only be allowed to play characters who get nothing but penis on command. At the end of the movie, she made out with Ray Charles, so I don’t know if that’s a happy ending or not.
[Source IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay]
Holly Madison was always my favorite from The Girls Next Door because she always reminded me of Gwen Stefani, if Gwen had huge fake tits and was talentless. Apparently since she has left the Playboy mansion, she makes money now by dressing up like a whore at events in Las Vegas and Miami. Good for her, I guess that’s a step up from showing everyone your goods.
[Source TheSuperficial]
I love sports, mainly American sports, so that’s probably I don’t give a shit about soccer. I once equated soccer to being the Los Angeles Lakers of sports. You know, everyone loves it, but it really just features a star player that rapes people. Here’s looking at you, Kobe Bryant. Long story short, if the crowd is filled with women who look like Larissa Riquelme then I wouldn’t mind attending more soccer events. That’s assuming I can sit next to these women and they hit me repeatedly with their breasts. On my tongue. Sucks that Paraguay didn’t win, she was going to blow the entire team or something.
[Source WhatWouldTylerDurdenDo?]
This is super old news, but I’m updating things I wanted to mention a while ago. Studies have shown that on average, British women have the largest breasts out of all the women in the world from their respective countries. That’s pretty cool, I mean, I’m glad the British have their priorities straight when selecting for good genes. Kelly Brook makes me want to have lots of children with British women, and if it helps, British men.
Here she is again looking amazing in green.
She looks good in every color, what can I say?
[Source IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay, 2, 3]
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